REFLECTIONS ON LIFE
By Melvin Arrington
Have you ever noticed on social media the use of the phrase “I love you more?” Although this seems to be a fairly recent phenomenon, its usage is becoming more and more prevalent in written communication. For example, a daughter writes to her mother, “I love you,” and the mother, instead of responding, “I love you, too,” says, “I love you more.” Does this mean “more than you love me?” Or maybe “more than you’ll ever know?” Or perhaps “more than anyone else could ever love you?” On the surface it looks rather silly, almost like a game. But true love is not a game. It’s what our lives should be about.

I have two daughters, both of whom I cherish. The intensity of my affection is the same for each of them. There is no quantifiable difference in how much I care for each one. The only distinction I can make is one of duration rather than intensity; that is, I have loved the older one longer but not any more than the younger one.

God, on the other hand, has loved all of us the same length of time, despite differences in our ages, because He has known each of us from all eternity: “He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before Him. In love He destined us for adoption to Himself through Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 1:4-5a) Psalm 139 expresses this even more vividly in the beautiful image of God as the First Knitter: “You formed my inmost being; You knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise You, because I am wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works! My very self You know.” (vv. 13-14) In short, God loves each of us more than we love Him and more than we will ever know, and more than anyone else could ever love us.

Throughout Scripture God is seeking to bring us back into the deep, personal, committed love relationship He intended for us to have with Him from the beginning, a relationship that has been damaged, and in some cases, broken because of our willful disobedience. In Genesis chapter 3, Adam sins and then tries to hide, but God goes looking for him and calls out to him. One of Christ’s seven sayings on the Cross, “I thirst,” (John 19:28) means, in addition to physical thirst, His thirst for souls. He longs for us, even when we turn our backs on Him. In Revelation, we see the Lord continuing to pursue us: “I stand at the door and knock.” (3:20) All we have to do is open the door and invite Him into our hearts and our lives.

We are like the little sheep that wandered off and was lost in Luke chapter 15. Jesus told this parable to make a point, but He also meant it in the sense that He would really and truly leave the ninety-nine and go in search of the one that was lost because every soul is precious to Him.

True love is self-sacrificing, and no one has sacrificed more on our behalf than Our Lord: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) Look how much Jesus loves us. When He went to the cross for us, to pay to sin debt that we couldn’t pay, He surrendered everything He had: His clothes – “They divided His garments by casting lots” (Matt. 27:35); His mother – “Behold, your mother” (John 19:27); His life – “It is finished” (John 19:30); His very spirit – “Father, into Your hands I commend My spirit.” (Luke 23:46) All of this, not to mention that He gave up the glory of the heavenly kingdom to become one of us, born in a filthy stable because there was no room for Him in the inn: “And the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.” (John 14:1a)

That’s what He did for us. That’s how much He loved us, and yet we complain about having to abstain from meat for a few days during Lent! Heaven help us! Along the same lines, St. John of the Cross once said: “Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent.” I’m ashamed to admit how often I have to remind myself of that saying.

How can we let Jesus know that we really love Him during the Christmas season? Obviously, we can do it by giving generously to worthy charitable causes and by performing the corporal works of mercy. Also, we can be more patient with others, practice kindness, and let others see all of the other fruits of the Spirit in our lives. But what else can we do? Two specific things come to mind: spend more time in prayer and make frequent visits to our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. He is waiting there for us.

So, when we tell the Lord we love Him and try to prove it by the way we treat others and by how much time we spend with Him in prayer, Scripture reading, and adoration, His reply might very well be, “I love you more,” because He truly does. Merry Christmas!

(Melvin Arrington is a Professor Emeritus of Modern Languages for the University of Mississippi and a member of St. John Oxford.)