Reflections on Life
By Fran Lavelle
I was at Mass at the Cathedral on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. At the end of his homily, Father Anthony, in reference to Mary’s fiat, asked, “What ‘yes’ is Jesus asking of you?” I kicked that question around in my mind for the balance of the day. It spilled over into the next few days. Jesus is asking all of us for a “yes.” He is asking each one of us to say “yes” to loving and serving His people in our own unique way. With a heavy foot on the gas pedal of life, I realized this question needed to be seriously considered as the days of Advent were passing quickly.

It is my practice to be introspective at the end of the year. I took Father Anthony’s challenge as an opportunity to look back on where I’ve been spiritually and emotionally. It is always an affirming and challenging exercise. Without a doubt there are things on my personal to-do list that did not get done. I still need to Marie Kondo every closet in my house. There were also challenges for me spiritually. Some people refer to these challenges as periods of dryness. Maybe you too have experienced times when you felt like you were just going through the motions. I was able to identify when I felt an emptiness in my faith life, as well as identify the periods of great consolation when unexpected gifts and graces were received that were not anticipated like a colleague’s baby announcement or a visit from dear friends.

There was an ebb and flow to 2019 that at times felt like a bad plane ride with jarring turbulence and other times felt more like a gentle tail wind. This year’s evaluation was the foundation I needed to examine the question Father Anthony posed. My personal need for a decluttering specialist became apparent. When one is overwhelmed with stuff (figuratively or literally) one has two options, one can live with the stuff/chaos that clutters our lives or we can get rid of it. Physically getting rid of clutter (unless one is a true hoarder) is easy. It takes time, boxes and a trip to the nearest second-hand store to dispense with the physical stuff.

The emotional stuff/chaos is harder to get rid of. It is hard to lay down past hurts. It is hard to forget the times we have been dismissed by a colleague or family member. It is hard to make the tapes that recall the litany of hurts from our past to stop playing over and over in our heads. One can’t Marie Kondo those emotions, but one can overcome them. It became apparent to me that Jesus is calling me to let go of the chaos. It does not mean that it no longer exists, but that I have a choice to look like Pig Pen in the Peanuts cartoon or I can claim my peace amid chaos. My “yes” is an affirmation of my desire to not let the chaos and clutter gobble up precious time. The love of Christ, His peace, forgiveness and understanding cannot be manifested if it is not lived. I realized it was time for a hard re-set. To align my desire to love and serve Christ I must clean up the emotional clutter that gets in the way of me being my best self.

I was reminded of the Cherokee story of the two wolves. “One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said ‘my son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is good. it is joy, peace love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘which wolf wins?’ The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘the one that you feed.’”

We are on the cusp of yet another year. It is the perfect time to seek and discern what “yes” Jesus is asking of you. We are assured in the gospel of Matthew to “… seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Take the time to seek Him.

Peace and blessings to you this Christmas and throughout the new year. May you discern His call and may your “yes” bring you abundant joy and much love. As I sit in the peace and quiet of my home in Starkville, I am looking at the newest ornament on my tree. Yes, it is a wolf. A very, very good wolf.

Kneading Faith
By Fran Lavelle
Albert Einstein is quoted to having said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” It is easy to fall victim to this kind of behavior especially when we do not constantly evaluate goals, processes and outcomes. Without proper reflection, it easy to blame everyone else for failure. This kind of blame game perpetuates the cycle. We are, however, creatures of habit, even when those habits do not deliver the best results. I get it. We like knowing what we know, what is familiar, comfortable and what feels safe. It’s hard to do things differently when what we are doing seems to be OK, right? It is easy to get caught up in an “our way of doing things” mentality. We protest, “it’s the way we’ve always done it” when questioned about a process or method. Afterall, we have a game plan. It’s decades old, but we have a plan. We are right in saying we need a plan; after all, we need a road map to get us where we want to be. But, just like the GPS on our cell phones, often there is more than one route. The fastest route may not be the shortest route. The software of our GPS might be outdated. We might lose cell service. Despite our best efforts we can end up somewhere we had no intention of going. Or, worse yet, never leave for the journey in the first place.

It is understandable when big institutions like the Church fall into this conundrum. Especially when it comes to being creatures of habit. I mean who doesn’t want to work smarter and not harder? But is expedience and limited effort what we are really talking about? Look, I love being Catholic. I love the cadence of liturgy, the predictability of the liturgical seasons, the changes of art, environment and music. I love the universality of the Church! However, the consistency and predictability I so love can easily become a crutch. It is easy to pull out a template for catechesis, liturgy, preaching, RCIA, campus ministry or any of the activities of the Church. When we pull out the same template year after year, it can feel a little like the movie Groundhog’s Day with Bill Murray. What becomes of the “now” when we are re-living the same experience over and over again? What becomes of those moments ripe for discipleship if we are leaning on the crutch of “this is how we do it?”

For example, if someone asked you, “What do I need to do to become Catholic?” how would you respond? How many of us would refer that person to the pastor or the director of the RCIA program? Would we take the time to ask questions about the person’s interest in the faith? Would we offer to go to an RCIA session with them and introduce them to folks we know in the parish? Would we include them in our prayers for their discernment? Or would we tell them to call the church office? They can look the number up.

In my last column I wrote about the response to WWJD? HWLF, He Would Love First. What does “loving first” look like in this example? I looked to the wisdom of Pope Francis, “In catechesis too, we have rediscovered the fundamental role of the first announcement or kerygma, which needs to be the center of all evangelizing activity and all efforts at Church renewal … On the lips of the catechist the first proclamation must ring out over and over: “Jesus Christ loves you; he gave his life to save you; and now he is living at your side every day to enlighten, strengthen and free you.” (Evangelii Gaudium, 164)

Pope Francis often reminds us that we are loved by Jesus Christ. Not simply in a 1970’s smiley face bumper sticker way, but in an intimate, unceasing, unconditional love that is beyond our imagining. What would the world look like if we understood the love of Jesus and behaved like we are worthy of such love? How would our response to the inquiry in the above example change if all we cared about was inviting people into a relationship with Christ? Would our words convey his love for them?

`If you feel like you are stuck on the hamster wheel of “this is what we do,” you are not alone. If what I’ve described looks like faith formation in your parish, you are not alone. This is not a Jackson Diocese problem. This is an issue that catechists, pastors and bishops face all over the country. If we are to change the narrative of Einstein’s quote, the mind set for what we are doing must change. Our faith journey is not about finding the right program, DVD series, youth ministry hacks or religious education book series. Yes, we need tools to support our catechesis. But it is crazy making behavior to present the same material year after year if we are not engaging in our own relationship with Jesus and walking with those we serve as they discover Christ and his love for them. I encourage everyone to look at the ministries of your parish and ask how can we invite people to greater intimacy with Jesus?

KNEADING FAITH
By Fran Lavelle
I was in Vicksburg several weeks ago and was asked if I knew what the acronym HWLF stood for. I did not. I was told that it is the response to the question, “WWJD? (What would Jesus do?)” The answer, “He would love first.” In the weeks since that brief graced moment, I have had several reasons to remind myself HWLF.

On Catechetical Sunday the Gospel was the parable of the prodigal son. It is a reading that has the power to speak to us in a myriad of ways depending on where we are in our own spiritual journey. The parable lesson is one I have visited and revisited on several occasions. I don’t know if you are ever at Mass and something is said that strikes you to the core of your being, but that is exactly what happened to me that Sunday. Father Cosgrove was talking about the two sons and he simply said, “The father loved them both. You know what I mean? The father loved both of his sons.” Yes, He Would Love First. Loving first means we welcome home those who have strayed and loving those who can no longer see the belovedness of the other.

All of this got me thinking about two unrelated deaths of men who were likewise loved by God, Father Al Camp and a high school friend of mine, Mickey. Father Al and I had several things in common; of great importance was our Ohio roots. When ever Father Al saw me he would say, “Hey, hey there Buckeye.” To be clear, Buckeyes are the nut bearing state tree of Ohio and Ohioans are known as Buckeyes. While I hold no hostility to the large state school in Columbus, Ohio I am not that kind of a Buckeye. I could always count on a flash of Father Al’s cheeky smile and his easy-going disposition, but I knew that below the smiles and salutations was a deeply faith filled man and true servant of God’s people. Hearing stories about Father Al at his memorial Mass underscored for me the importance of living an intentional life of authentic service. I was also reminded not to sweat the little stuff and to laugh. Father Al had a wicked dry sense of humor and loved to laugh.

Later the next week I found out that a guy I went to high school with had died a few weeks shy of his 54th birthday from an overdose. Mickey was a brilliant man with Kennedy-esque good looks. He was the only child of a well-known, well to do family in town. Mickey went to law school and spent most of his career as a prosecuting attorney. About a year ago, Mickey was indicted for federal tax fraud. He spent the past year in federal prison. On July 1, Mickey got out of prison and was sent to a halfway house. A few days after returning home from his year-long incarceration, Mickey overdosed and died. His long battle with addiction ended Mickey’s life just as his friends were hoping he would have a new beginning. I read the eulogy that one of his closest friends gave at Mickey’s funeral. It was filled with the sadness one expects when a life so full of promise tragically ends.

I found myself reflecting on these two lives, both in how they lived and how they were memorialized. The stark difference in their lives seems so apparent, one an 87-year young servant of God’s people and the other a gifted 53-year-old who struggled with addiction. But they also shared many things in common. Both were smart and handsome. Both were raised Catholic. As with all of us, both men lived with the consequences of their choices. I thought about God’s love for Father Al and Mickey. I felt a profound gratitude in knowing that they were both beloved sons of God. They were loved first.

That understanding is exactly what our broken world is in most need of. To know we are loved. Loved by God. Every single one of us. That is the central message of all catechetical formation. It is easy to fear that our catechetical programs, RCIA sessions, adult faith formation classes are watered down by relativism. It is easy to get too far into our heads and look at rubrics and rules and make black and white determinations about who is and who isn’t worthy of this or that. We want to “give them” the truth, not mince words, tell it like it is, but when we approach formation like an academic endeavor, we can turn out people who know the faith but have not experienced it.

We all have the responsibility to share the love of God and the gift of faith. We cannot approach love the same way we approach learning, although we do learn by loving. Now more than ever it is critical that we inspire others to see the belovedness of one another.

In those moments when we ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” may we respond, “He would love first.” And do likewise.

(Fran Lavelle is the Director of Faith Formation for the Diocese of Jackson.)

Kneading faith
By Fran Lavelle
I have never been drawn into a papal document to the degree Pope Francis’ exhortation to young people, Christus Vivit, has captured my attention and my heart. As we prepare to return to our classrooms, religious education programs, RCIA meetings, adult faith formation opportunities, campus ministries and youth programs it is important that we ask some serious questions about how we are being challenged in our call. The Church does not do succession planning very well and, therefore, we have folks putting time in in ministry roles well beyond their vigor. Before you accuse me of being indifferent and an ageist, hear me out.

I was having lunch with a friend the other day and she remarked that we can serve many, many years in ministry or we can serve one year in ministry several times over. Ministry is organic and as we grow and change so too our ministry must be able to grow and change. Bishop Kopacz often reminds us that we never step into the same river twice. We can step in at the exact same spot, but the water is always new, the sediment and rocks have shifted, even the temperature of the water is different. I like that image, especially for formational ministry. The room may be the same as last year, the textbook, schedule and lesson plans too, but you are different, your students are different.

When we become complacent, we tend to pull the template out from “last year” and proceed like nothing has changed. When we allow this to happen, our eyes are closed to the present reality. Our ears cannot hear the voices of those we are called to serve. We lose our mojo. Because really, deep down inside, we all know that we never step into the same river twice. A glance back, especially for those of us who have been at it for a while, can reveal how very much things have changed. I’m not suggesting that Church elders give up their call to ministry; rather, we need to check to see if our energy, passion and openness to change is still there in our current role. Pope Francis would argue that young people need mentors of all ages who are capable of accompaniment, intentional listening and are relational. If that time has passed for us, there are still many ways we can serve in ministry. It is about our time aligning with God’s time.When we are open to knowing when that dynamic of time is off kilter doors will open to new opportunities.

In paragraph 191 of Christus Vivit, Pope Francis states, “The world has never benefitted, nor will it ever benefit, from a rupture between generations. That is the siren song of a future without roots and origins. It is the lie that would have you believe that only what is new is good and beautiful. When intergenerational relationships exist, a collective memory is present in communities, as each generation takes up the teachings of its predecessors and in turn bequeaths a legacy to its successors. In this way, they provide frames of reference for firmly establishing a new society. As the old saying goes: ‘If the young had knowledge and the old strength, there would be nothing they could not accomplish.’”

We need the wisdom of our elders as much as we need energy of young people. We need to be able to hear new ideas as much as we need the solid foundation of the kerygma.

A few weeks ago, I celebrated my 20 year anniversary with the Diocese of Jackson. It gave me the opportunity to look back as I look forward to year twenty-one. Twenty years of ministry. No two years have been the same. No two days have been alike. I recognize that even in walking with the same student for four or five years, each year was different. Hopefully, we both grew in wisdom, understanding and love. It’s been five years since I left campus ministry to take on my current role in formational ministries for the diocese. I had to let go of one thing I knew I loved to be able to embrace something new.

Following God’s call to ministry for the diocese has had many challenges; but it is also filled with much joy. The day will come that I need to turn this ministry over to someone else. We talk about intentional disciples. What we need to talk about is authentic disciples who exercise intentional ministry. This includes succession planning. The torch gets passed. Someone else picks up where we left off. Another generation of leadership takes the helm. All of it done intentionally.

As we begin another academic year, I pray for great success in your ministry. Please know I am an email or phone call away if you ever need anything.

(Fran Lavelle is the Director of Faith Formation for the Diocese of Jackson.)

Kneading Faith
By Fran Lavelle
The first week of June many lay people from across the diocese participated in the Pastoral Ministries Workshop at Lake Tiak O’Khata in Louisville. A feature of the workshop is an optional retreat. One morning I was sitting on a porch with a few of the retreatants.
During our reflection and conversation a dove gracefully flew into a nearby tree and remained there until a few minutes before we closed our session with prayer. Thankfully all three of us saw this most welcome visitor. I have been told that I am not the greatest birder in the family and may have mistaken the dove for an egret. I assure you, it was a dove, and its presence was powerful.
The presence of the dove reminded me of the powerful presence of the Holy Spirit, but it also reminded me that it was in our slowing down that we were able to see the gift that God had blessed us with that morning. Retreats are to the soul what good nutrition is to the body. Without feeding ourselves good food our bodies suffer. The same can be said for our spiritual life. Left unattended they no longer produce good fruit.
One of the things we reflected on during our time together was the need to create touch tones in our lives, regardless of our state of life or vocation, to heighten our awareness of God’s directing presence in our daily living. By touch tones I mean a physical reminder of a spiritual awareness that we have experienced.
I shared with the group what had happened to me about a month ago. I was on my way to Jackson and had a long list of things on my “to do” list. Maintaining a life in Starkville, working out of an office in Jackson and serving the people in a diocese the geographic size of ours had left me feeling like I was not serving God well.
Exasperated, I asked God, “Where are you in all of this?” A few miles pass. The thought came to me, if I were on the receiving end of defibrillators what would be going through my mind? I thought for a minute and was filled with gratitude for my family, the beautiful farm of my youth in Ohio, the amazing people I have met along the journey, the blessings of ministry, the love shared and the beautiful family that has been knit together from all these experiences.
These are the things that matter. The touch tone has become a physical touch on my heart during the times when I feel overwhelmed by life’s demands. That physical touch reminds me of the things that matter. It is a simple gesture but it moves me from anxiety to peace.
What are some of the ways you remind yourself to remain focused on the important stuff? I have a friend who uses music to keep her centered on God. Whenever she begins to feel stressed she listens to her favorite gospel radio station. Quotes from our spiritual heroes can also be used as a touch tone. A well placed quote on the bathroom mirror or a prayer card in our bible can serve as a reminder to keep our eyes fixed on the Beloved.
My favorite St. John of the Cross quote comes to mind, “In the evening of life we will be judged on love alone.” When I find myself short on patience or quick to judge this quote reminds me that love is my only option.
The folks who joined me on retreat all work for the church in a leadership role. But the conversations we shared each morning would be applicable to anyone who is serious about developing a more intimate relationship with God.
All our meaningful relationships depend on our ability to be present, listen, act with sincerity and appreciate the other. Just as our human relationships need this kind of care so too does our relationship with God. Personal retreats give us the opportunity to reconnect with God. To sit quietly and ask for nothing but the time to be present, fully present.
When was the last time you went on a retreat? For some the answer may take us back to confirmation several decades ago or perhaps to a college retreat. For some the answer may be never. Having recently returned from directing this retreat I was left with the profound awareness that retreats are not only helpful in our faith journey but necessary if we are to fully embrace a loving relationship with God.
If you have never taken a retreat or if it has been years since you did, I am not admonishing you in any way. Rather, I hope to encourage you to take the time away and nurture your relationship with God. If you work in ministry, paid or volunteer, participating in a retreat for yourself is the best gift you can give the people you serve. If you are interested in learning more about retreats, feel free to contact me at fran.lavelle@jacksondiocese.org.
(Fran Lavelle is the Director of Faith Formation for the Diocese of Jackson.)

Kneading Faith
By Fran Lavelle
The Easter Vigil and the entire Easter season is full of experiences which express the depth and beauty of the Sacraments of Initiation. Many parishes celebrate full initiation of Catholics at the Easter Vigil. Many parishes will celebrate confirmation for their high school students. Most parishes will celebrate First Holy Communion, while others based on the demographics of the parish will not witness these sacraments this year.
What is important for all of us to remember, no matter how small or large or parish or how active we will be sacramentally this Easter season, we are all members of the Body of Christ and as such we all celebrate and benefit from the building up of the church.
I was thinking about First Holy Communion the other day. While seeing the young ones in their suits and dresses is a moment of great pride for parents, grandparents and even doting aunties, it is not just fodder for Facebook, it is for these young people the beginning of their most intimate relationship with Jesus.
If we treat the day like another milestone or photo op (thank you Instagram) and not as the personal, intimate encounter with Jesus that it actually is then we have missed the point entirely. In our increasingly hyper responsive social media driven world we are losing sight of the present moment because we are trying to capture it with our cell phone cameras. Parents, grandparents and other family members are to be living examples of what it looks like to receive Jesus in the Eucharist. If we are not, where do we expect our young people to gain that insight? I am not talking about acting like ‘Piety Patty’ or ‘Holy Harry,’ I am talking about our ordinary ever day response to the invitation to become that which we have received.
A spiritual director once challenged me in asking if I believed that I was becoming that which I receive in the Eucharist. The way I see it, I’ve been receiving the Body of Christ since 1971. In the past 45 years, have my thoughts, actions and words become more Christ like? If not, I need to re-examine the disposition of my heart in my reception of Jesus in the Eucharist. First Holy Communion day is special, but every Eucharist in every liturgy is special.
Perhaps we need to do a better job in explaining the role of the assembly. Proper catechesis of the assembly is perhaps the ultimate prerequisite to understanding our sacramental lives as Christians. Without understanding the importance of the body, its role and its members, than we are not full, active and conscious participants in our faith. If we believe that the gathering of persons is the church, then at the end of Mass the “church” leaves the building.
Yes, the CHURCH leaves the building. By our presence and participation we are enriched, if you will, with the sustenance of both Word and Eucharist, to be the Body of Christ in the world. Gathering the assembly edifies and nourishes the Body of Christ so that we can become that which we received in the Eucharist, namely, Christ for one another. As Christ in the world we take on the work of Jesus.
We are called to discipleship in effectively living out the directives articulated by Jesus in the Gospels. As members of the Body of Christ the coming and going, the gathering and dismissal, taking and receiving are all one continuous movement. Liturgy, however, is not often perceived that way nor do we teach the faithful that Mass is organic in as much as the Body of Christ is organic. We are leaven, we are sowers, we are proclaimers of the Word, we are doers, and all of that activity comes from being essential members of and participants in the Body of Christ.
When you gather to celebrate the Sacraments of Initiation this Easter season, especially First Holy Communion, ask yourself what you can do as a member of the assembly to demonstrate what it means to become that which we have received.  St. Augustine challenges us beautifully, “Behold what you are; become what you receive.” God’s blessings this Easter Season!
(Fran Lavelle is the Director of Faith Formation for the Diocese of Jackson.)

Kneading Faith
By Fran Lavelle
It’s Lent, people! We all have traditions that surround and mark the season. For many of us, we mark the season with attendance at Stations of the Cross, daily Mass, and joining fellow parishioners for fish fries, going to reconciliation, or giving up our favorite sweet or spirit.  For others, we decide to “take on” a spiritual practice instead of giving something up. There are so many opportunities to make Lent more meaningful. And, in this Jubilee Year of Mercy we really need to take advantage of the season.
Let us not forget that Lent is also a call to a life of prayer, fasting and almsgiving.  We should aim to be transformed by these observances not just putting our “ordinary time” selves on pause.  I’d like to visit with my 30 or 40 year old self on Ash Wednesday and see if there are parts of a younger Fran that I no longer recognize for the better or worse. To be sure I’d encourage younger Fran NOT to give up coffee as no grace came out of that experience for anyone.
In more recent years, I have tried to enter into the season by developing and recognizing opportunities to “be still and know God.” I have found that these opportunities translate into time for more focused prayer.  And, the more I focus on my relationship with God the more I am able to see opportunities for fasting and giving alms.  When I spend that critical quiet time with God I find myself asking what God is asking of me.  What is His will in the various situations and circumstances of my own life?
Thankfully for me the holy season of Lent is also a favorite time at the orchard as it is the time we prune the muscadine vines. The spiritual implications are not lost on me.  With each plant care is given to determine its overall health and to determine how much to prune from each one to maximize growth in the coming fruit season.
I have found great peace in taking my time cutting away last year’s vines and shaping the plant for this year’s growth.  It is a job that one must remain present to the plant as to not butcher it, but one’s mind can wander a bit perhaps noticing the chill in the air, the sounds of farm life beyond the orchard, wild waterfowl, or a distant train horn.
It is during those moments when I am truly connected not only to my task at hand but also to the awesome world God created.
I am present to those who came before me. Our cat Soul Patch often accompanies me in the orchard. She is not only a great companion but an incredible reminder of being present to the moment. I find myself feeling more alive because I am truly present. That’s a lesson Soul Patch has helped me understand as well. Cat lovers easily understand this.
Sometimes I fill the time with pure silence asking only of God to be by my side. At other times I am working through a problem or difficult situation so I talk to God and ask for inspiration. Other times I may open myself up to creativity for ideas for a retreat talk or ministry opportunity.
In my spiritual pruning during the season of lent I am left with the same inevitable question every year. It is a difficult question to ask and even more difficult to respond to. What parts of my life need to be pruned away in order for me to experience new growth in my relationship with God? Over the years, the answer has changed. It seems at this season of my life I am being called to let go of past hurts. In that act of letting go, I am freed to fill that space with forgiveness. When we prune away the things that keep us from true intimacy with God we become free to love more profoundly, forgive more readily, rebuild and restore trust more resolutely, and open ourselves up to new growth.
You don’t need a muscadine vine to open yourself up to the question. One only needs a quiet place to reflect on where God is calling them. I have found in my relationship with God that the most courageous step is in asking the question.  The answer will come and while it may challenge us in the end we will see the wisdom gained.
With each passing year, no matter where I find myself spiritually, I know the time I spend pruning will yield great results in my spiritual life as much as it will provide great growth for that particular plant. May God bless you during this holy season of lent! May your Lenten pruning yield great spiritual growth.  Happy pruning!
(Fran Lavelle is the director of Faith Formation for the Diocese of Jackson.)

Kneading Faith
By Fran Lavelle
It’s funny how a tune will pop in your head without warning and hang around for an hour or two before fading away. I was on my way to take the garbage to the road the other morning and suddenly I found myself humming “Love Is” by the Bee Gees. I tried to dismiss it as I sat down for my morning cup of joe and ritual “quiet time” with God. The words, “Love is, higher than a mountain, thicker than water….” kept coming to me. OK, love is tall and viscous. So what? And, as is our usual morning routine, the Holy Spirit made a visit and the “so what” found meaning.
What did the Holy Spirit and the Bee Gees teach me that morning? There is a great quote from Pope Francis making its way around the cyber-sphere that says, “It is not enough to love people, they must feel loved. I couldn’t agree more. Love is the only answer. So then, love is a verb. Love requires action. It is not enough to speak of it, one must “do” love in order to manifest love. How do I “do” love? Is it through great acts? Or is it in small acts of kindness as St. Therese the Little Flower would tell us? Is it putting more resources toward a problem? Or is it in teaching those who lack necessities how to provide for themselves? Or is it simply in being present? I hope that my best moments in ministry are when I am listening to others.
If love is “higher than a mountain,” as the brothers Gibb contend, then we must exercise our hearts daily to be prepared to scale it. The actions of one who loves well reflect first and foremost a love of self. I am not talking about narcissism. I am talking about a self-awareness that reminds us that we were created by God, through his great love for us and in his likeness and image. It is the mirror that reflects the love of God on his beloved, and in return our love back to him. Equipped with my core understanding of my own dignity I am able to share the love of God with others.
Therefore, if I am to manifest love in a way that others “feel loved” I am going to have to be in shape to scale the mountain of love. I am of no use if half way up the “mountain of love’ I must stop. The only way to get better at something is to do it. There, I said it, difficult as it can be I must love well daily and that love must include love for my own self.
If we think of love as “thicker than water,” then we quickly recognize that love is messy. Many of us get stuck in the “mud” of love. I can’t move forward because this or that happened. Or our good friend apathy shows up and tells us the problem is too great for us to make a difference, so we stay stuck. What if we thought of the “thickness” of love as an anchor? What if the viscosity of love is meant to slow us down? What if love was like water? Would it pass over, above and under us at such a rapid speed that we would never feel its warmth? So this slow moving thick love gives me an opportunity to feel love.
I found my Bee Gees greatest hits CD (don’t judge, it gets worse) and played the song. I danced around my living room alone. We are all trying to capture what love is, what it means to us, and how it is manifested. As we grow older we realize it is not merely a feeling. We realize it takes work to love well. But, too, hopefully we learn that it cannot be contained.
Love must be shared in order to be sustained. And, most of all, it must be given away freely without conditions of who gets it, how they perceive it, or what they do with it. About the rest of the chorus, “You are this dreamer’s only dream. Heaven’s angel, devil’s daughter,” well that will have to be looked into at a later date. In the meantime, wherever you are today, please know that you are loved…
(Fran Lavelle is the director of Faith Formation for the Diocese of Jackson.)

Kneading Faith
By Fran Lavelle
It’s late July and before we know it our college students will be heading off to campus. For those of you who have sent a child away to college I am certain you’ll agree there can be a lot of anxiety surrounding the event. As many of you know, I spent 15 years working as the full time Catholic campus minister at Mississippi State and from that experience have gained some insights helpful to parents of college students. Here’s my list of three things every parent should consider:

Trust God
This seems like a no brainer, but for many parents letting go of control of their son or daughter is unbearable. They feel like if they have all the cards they can prevent their child from life’s more difficult situations. I get it. Some parents might be looking back at their own track record in college. Some of us may have not always made the best choices.
Thinking back to our own behavior can be helpful in that we know the temptations and pitfalls awaiting young people in college. Peer pressure is as real as it’s ever been. We need only to look to the Old Testament for the consequences of temptation. We all know what choice Eve made in the garden. We are not all that different. But knowing the reality that temptations and pressures are part of college life means we need to trust God all the more.
We need to allow our young adult children to make mistakes. We need to let them fail, fall down, get their hearts broken and stand back up on their own two feet knowing they survived and have learned from each experience. We need to trust that they will learn and appreciate a greater dependence on God as they struggle with their newly minted role of young adults.

Trust yourself
Yes, trust yourself that you have raised a good person. You have given them opportunities to learn, grow and succeed. You have provided the necessary infrastructure for them to grow in their faith, their studies and hopefully their life skills. You have to trust that the foundation you have put in place is sturdy and durable.
Yes, there will be challenges that your child faces in college that will seem like an assault to the foundation you have provided, but you must trust that the foundation you built is solid. Who remembers the wisdom of this 38 Special song, “Just hold on loosely, but don’t let go. If you cling too tightly, you’re gonna lose control”? Sure, this song is about a lost love interest, but the wisdom rings true.
Hold on, loosely. By doing so you are there to help them navigate life when they really need your help. The loosely part means you let them handle the non-life threatening stuff. Allow your child to grow trusting you have done your job and done it well.

Trust your child
As a parent you know your child’s gifts and you know their challenges. They need to feel the freedom that this new stage in life offers them. They need to know you are there, but they need to learn to trust their own discernment and decision making. Second Corinthians 5:7 teaches us, “We walk by faith, not by sight.”
College is the perfect time to grow in our faith walk. They will not see the road ahead but in walking by faith and not sight deepens our dependence on God. Allowing our children to trust their own judgement gives them confidence to make increasingly more important decisions. So too it will increase their dependence on God and hopefully be strengthened and enriched by their prayer life.
After the last box is unpacked, a semester of learning, growing and experiencing life awaits your college-aged child. Let us take comfort in the words of the prophet Jeremiah, “Blessed are those who trust in the LORD; the LORD will be their trust.”
(Fran Lavelle is Director of the Department of Faith Formation.)