Anthropological function of gossip

IN EXILE
By Father Ron Rolheiser, OMI

In his novel, “Oscar and Lucinda,” Peter Carey offers this colorful image of gossip. The setting is a small town where there are rumors about the priest and a particular young woman. Here’s his metaphor: “The vicar of Woolahra then took her shopping and society, always feeling shopping to be the most intimate activity, was pleased to feel the steam pressure rising in itself as it got ready to be properly scandalized – its pipes groaned and stretched, you could hear the noises in its walls and cellars. They imagined he paid for her finery. When they heard this was not so, that the girl had sovereigns in her purse – enough, it was reported, to buy the priest a pair of onyx cufflinks – the pressure did not fall, but stayed constant, so that while it did not reach the stage where the outrage was hissing out through the open valves, it maintained a good rumble, a lower note which sounded like a growl in the throat of a smallish dog.”

What an apt image! Gossip does resemble steam hissing from a radiator or the growl of a small dog, and yet it’s important. For most of our lives, we form community around it. How so?

Father Ron Rolheiser, OMI

Imagine going out for dinner with a group of colleagues. While there isn’t overt hostility among you, there are clear differences and tensions. You wouldn’t naturally choose go out to dinner together, but you have been thrown together by circumstance and are making the best of it.

You have dinner together and things go along quite pleasantly. There’s harmony, banter and humor at the table. How do you manage to get on so well despite and beyond differences? By talking about somebody else. Much of the time is spent talking about others on whose faults, eccentricities, and shortcomings we all agree. Alternatively, we talk about shared indignations. We end up having a harmonious time together because we talk about someone or something else whose difference from us is greater than our differences from each other. Of course, you are afraid to leave the table because you already suspect whom they will be talking about then! Your fear is well founded.

Until we reach a certain level of maturity, we form community largely around scapegoating, that is, we overcome our differences and tensions by focusing on someone or something about whom or which we share a common distancing, indignation, ridicule, anger or jealousy. That’s the anthropological function of gossip – and it’s a very important one. We overcome our differences and tensions by scapegoating someone or something. That’s why it’s easier to form community against something rather than around something and why it’s easier to define ourselves more by what we are against than by what we are for.

Ancient cultures knew this and designed certain rituals to take tension out of the community by scapegoating. For example, at the time of Jesus within the Jewish community a ritual existed that essentially worked this way: At regular intervals, the community would take a goat and symbolically adorn it with the tensions and divisions of the community. Among other things, they would drape it with a purple cloth to symbolize that it symbolically represented them and push a crown of thorns into its head to make it feel the pain of their tensions. (Notice how Jesus is draped in these exact symbols when Pilate shows him to the crowd before the crucifixion: Ecce homo … Behold your scapegoat!) The goat was then chased off to die in the desert. It leaving the community was understood as taking the community’s sin and tension away, leaving the community free of tension by its banishment.

Jesus is our scapegoat. He takes away our sin and division, though not by banishment from the community. He takes away our sins by taking them in, carrying them, and transforming them so as not to give them back in kind. Jesus takes away sin in the same way as a water filter purifies, by holding the impurities within itself and giving back only what is pure.
When we say Jesus died for our sins, we need to understand it this way: He took in hatred and gave back love; he took in curses and gave back blessing; he took in bitterness and gave back graciousness; he took in jealousy and gave back affirmation; and he took in murder and gave back forgiveness. By absorbing our sin, differences, and jealousies, he did for us what we, in a less mature and less effective way, try to do when we crucify each other through gossip.

And that’s Jesus’ invitation to us: As adults, we are invited to step up and do what Jesus did, namely, take in the differences and jealousies around us, hold them, and transform them so as not to give them back in kind.

Then won’t we need scapegoats any more, and the steam-pipes of gossip will cease hissing and the low growl of that smallish dog inside us will finally be silent.

(Oblate Father Ron Rolheiser is a theologian, teacher and award-winning author. He can be contacted through his website www.ronrolheiser.com.)

Called by Name

In his book From Christendom to Apostolic Mission, Msgr. James Shea makes the argument that the Catholic Church must reconnect with her evangelical roots. He spends a couple of chapters in this short book explaining that structures within our society that used to be infused with Christianity no longer are, and college students who used to return to their religious roots after a few years away at school often no longer do so. Msgr. Shea does a great job explaining the reality that we are living in, and he also gives an encouraging and invigorating challenge to those who love Jesus and His church: be disciples first, and then become apostles.

FOCUS seeks to answer this call in an inspiring way. The Fellowship of Catholic University Students (FOCUS) is a national network of missionaries who work on college campuses to help students become disciples of Jesus Christ. They also train those student-disciples to become apostles, encouraging them to go out and preach the Gospel after it has led them to change their own lives. The annual FOCUS conference, SEEK, was held in St. Louis earlier this month, and the fruits of their mission were on display. About 19,000 people attended the conference. It was amazing to witness the faith and dedication of these young people, and not just their faith, but their formation. In speaking with the attendees and spending time with them, it was clear that they didn’t just like coming to church, but on top of that they were in a living relationship with Jesus Christ, or they were at least on the road to having one. They were dedicated to the sacraments and they understood why the sacraments were important to their life.

As the head of FOCUS, Curtis Martin stated in one of the breakout sessions: our colleges and universities help to set the course of our culture, and the next generation is formed during these four critical years, so we must bring the Gospel to these campuses or risk young people losing their faith entirely before entering the work force. This conference was a very life-giving event for me, but it also has left me considering what I can do as a priest to support the young people I met and was inspired by. The young church needs priests who will accompany them and bring them into contact with the Lord through the sacraments. There were about 400 priests at FOCUS, and it was amazing to see how the students would regularly come up to us with big smiles and ask for various items to be blessed, or for prayers for a certain intention, or for one of us to hear their confession.

As vocation director, I am grateful for the work done by campus ministers across our diocese. About 80 students from our diocesan universities attended the conference. FOCUS serves at Mississippi State right now and they had about 60 attendees alone! But all of us share in the responsibility to form our young people in the faith, and I am grateful that I was able to attend this event, and it has led me to think seriously about the way that I evangelize. Nearly 19,000 people attended a conference centered on Jesus and the sacraments. The desire for God is in the hearts of young people — what are we doing to bring Him to them?

– Father Nick Adam

If you are interested in learning more about religious orders or vocations to the priesthood and religious life, email nick.adam@jacksondiocese.org.

Surrendering ordinary times

ON ORDINARY TIMES
By Lucia A. Silecchia

As 2022 came to an end, so too the earthly life of Pope Benedict XVI drew to its close. “Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.”

In the days and weeks to come, much will be said about his legacy as Pope and his impact as a leading theologian of his era. I will be reflecting on that myself. As a lawyer and not a theologian, I have studied Pope Benedict’s writings on the social issues of our time to see what they may mean for pressing questions of law and public policy. I have found in them – particularly in his trio of encyclicals – a deep well from which many will continue to draw deep insights on the moral roots of modern maladies.

Personally, however, Pope Benedict’s passing has given me insights on something else – a complement to lessons learned from his predecessor almost eighteen years ago. Both St. John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI taught me, and the world, something profound about how to face the end of life.

Lucia A. Silecchia

St. John Paul II is the first pope I truly remember. A relatively young man when he became pope, he captivated the world with his strength, energy, peripatetic journeys to the ends of the earth, and his role on the world stage through some of the most pivotal events of the late twentieth century.

The early images of St. John Paul II showed a vigorous man on ski slopes, alighting airplanes, and with agility, kissing the ground as he entered new countries for the first time.

Yet, as he grew older, St. John Paul II showed us all, in a very public way, what it is like to suffer through illness. So often, those who are ill, frail and approaching death are hidden away. They can too often be separated from friends and family who no longer visit because it is difficult to see loved ones change. Many want to remember those in declining health “as they really were” – without realizing that when we are weak and suffering we are still, truly, who we “really” are.

I remember the very last images released of Pope St. John Paul II. They showed a man weakened by illness and bereft of the robust energy that had marked the earlier years of his papacy. Yet, in that he showed the world the great dignity of those who suffer on the way to eternal life. It is unlikely most of us will ever approach death in such a public way. However, suffering and infirmity is part of our common humanity.

From St. John Paul II, I learned a great deal about the acceptance of suffering, the importance of keeping those who suffer at the center of our lives and not at the margin, and the dignity of those who are facing their final illnesses and the physical deprivations that accompany that journey.

From Pope Benedict XVI, I learned another lesson – the importance of prayer as preparation for passage from this life. When he shocked the world with his resignation nearly a decade ago, Pope Benedict XVI turned from a very public life of action to a secluded life of prayer and contemplation. His prayer was a way to serve the church through a very powerful way vastly different from the way he had served the church through so many decades of his life.

More recently, however, public statements and reports to the press have made it clear that Pope Benedict XVI was also deep in prayer in preparation for the end of his own life when he – like all of us – would meet his God.

In that, I learned a second valuable lesson. When I look ahead, I make plans for how I will live if I am blessed with the gift of years. I think about my physical health, financial security, and what my last wishes might be for myself and my family. These things still do not cross my mind very often, but I understand the practical wisdom in attending to them with care. From Pope Benedict, I have learned that it is not merely the practical and physical planning that need attention. Rather, time spent in prayer is the often neglected and best preparation for a happy death.

It is unlikely that most of us – unless called to a contemplative vocation – will willingly make such a dramatic surrender of the active life to devote the final decade of our earthly life to prayer. Yet, if it is in prayer that we better come to know and love God, then there can be no better preparation for eternity than growing to know and love the One with whom we hope to spend that eternity. From Pope Benedict XVI I saw that lesson lived.

These two Popes – collaborators in life and in prayer – will be remembered for what they did, wrote, said and decided during their lives. But for their fellow pilgrims, the very different lessons they taught about life’s end were their final gifts and blessings.

Thank you both for the ways you surrendered your ordinary times.

(Lucia A. Silecchia is a Professor of Law and Associate Dean for Faculty Research at the Catholic University of America’s Columbus School of Law. “On Ordinary Times” is a biweekly column reflecting on the ways to find the sacred in the simple. Email her at silecchia@cua.edu.)

Light beyond betrayal

Reflections on Life
By sister alies therese

Betrayal is a horrible experience. If you have not been betrayed, you are most fortunate; many, if not most of us have been.

The children massacred in Uvalde, the people killed in El Paso for being Hispanic or Buffalo for being Black, or Dachau for being Jewish, have certainly been betrayed. We have betrayed one another through poverty (food insecurity, unfair wages, poor health care), abortion, war, mass shootings and the death penalty, and, of course, abuse and poor eldercare. And perhaps the worst betrayal of all is convenient, rigid or complacent Christianity, Catholicism.

These keep us from friendship with God; expressed as a deepening groan or a desire to serve self. Can I set betrayal aside and learn to put others first? Will I ever be friends with God again? Where has the light of Epiphany gone? The Wise Ones chose the Light by betraying King Herod.

We can experience overpowering and challenging choices when on the road to recovery and we see that in AA or Al-anon, and various sorts of other helping communities. Depending upon how one is addicted or challenged can make choices toward recovery even more difficult. In his book “The Betrayal Bond” (1997), Dr. Patrick Carnes tells this little story:

Sister alies therese

“Tribal peoples in Africa put out slotted cages filled with fresh fruit. The cages are anchored securely to the ground. Monkeys discover the cages, reach in, and grab the fruit. Of course, they cannot retrieve the fruit because as long as the hand holds the fruit, it will not fit through the bars of the cage, the monkeys are trapped. They could let go of the fruit and escape, but they refused to let go … trauma bonds are similar….” (page 210)

We know from AA that even when one has been betrayed by family or others, institutions, and certainly booze/drugs recovery is essential to living in the light. We also know that Bill W. (co-founder of AA) received advice from Dr. Carl Jung to tell stories to be set free of strangulation by fear and intimidation. These stories might reveal how betrayal has featured in life and made friendships difficult. Perhaps the stories might show how one has become a betrayer.

So, what to do now? What have we refused to let go of in order to put betrayal in the past? Are we stuck in a trauma bond? Is the light ever to be seen again?

What is the way back to friendship? In order to restore our friendship God took on a human nature to teach us how to forgive. Betrayal features in Jesus’ life more than just the Garden. Each time followers rejected what He taught; the message of God was betrayed. When we don’t stop the tongues of gossip or stand for something we believe in, we betray not only others but our inner life. Certainly, we are betrayed when we continue any big lie…that green is yellow, yellow is green, perpetuating the lie and making our ability to follow the light more difficult.

Arthur Simon, in his book “How Much Is Enough?” (2003) relates this:

“A six-year-old boy, taken to an ER following an accident was given a glass of milk. ‘How deep shall I drink?’ he asked. He came from a very poor family in which something as precious as milk had to be shared with six brothers and sisters, drinking too deeply cheated others.” (page 132) Of course, his choice is to share or to betray his siblings. What will he do? What might I do?

George Eliot sometime in 1850 said: “What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?”

“Forgiveness,” says Christina Baldwin, “is the act of admitting we are like other people.” We mess up, we are selfish, and we might betray ourselves when forgiveness is not on the table. Servant of God, Dorothy Day (and Peter Maurin) remind us of a basic Catholic Worker tenant: make it easy for people to be good. There is no betrayal in that. No, it is the light.

Jesus showed us the way and as we move into this new year, we might have pause to remember that – on the night He was betrayed, He left us Himself in the Eucharist to be always with us.

In 1785, Anne Letitia Barbauld noted: “Nobody ought to be too old to improve; I should be sorry if I was, and I flatter myself I have already improved considerably by my travels….” I should very much like to improve … You?
BLESSINGS.

(Sister alies therese is a canonically vowed hermit with days formed around prayer and writing.)

Bishop’s Christmas rituals reflect love for tradition

From the Archives
By Mary Woodward

JACKSON – For those of you who knew Bishop William Houck, you know he was a larger-than-life persona. His booming voice and laughter were recognizable before he ever entered the room. He was a great man of the church and never missed a chance to evangelize others through word and deed.
Bishop Houck clung to traditions and for every holiday he had one. We always knew which holidays were spent with whom and what time he would head to Mobile for family celebrations. He adored his family, and they looked forward to his visits with great joy.

LEXINGTON – Bishop William Houck opens a gift during a party held in 1985 in the St. Thomas Lexington community. (Photo from archives)

At Christmas, Bishop Houck loved for his residence to be decorated with lights, angels, poinsettias, wreaths and any Christmas merriment that could be found in his vast collection. He had an outdoor nativity set given to him by Virginia McCaskey, owner of the Chicago Bears. For this festive ensemble, he had a local craftsman build a stable that could be disassembled and stored in the garage after Epiphany. It was my task to meet the craftsman each year to retrieve the stable from the garage rafters, set out the holy family, and plug up the lights; then meet him again to take it all down while Bishop Houck was on the annual region V bishops’ retreat.

Another annual tradition was getting the live Christmas tree for his house. Bishop Houck did not like artificial trees. I still remember the look on his face when someone suggested he get one. Yikes for that person!

Jim McCraw, Knight of Columbus extraordinaire, was the man with the truck who was called upon each year to go with Bishop Houck to get the perfect tree. Keeping with his tradition, Bishop liked to wait until closer to Christmas to get the tree. I remember one year he waited a little too late and the lot where they normally got the tree had been abandoned. Fortunately, the trees that didn’t sell were left behind as well, so that year the evergreen was a little dry but gratis.

McCraw was reminiscing about tree shopping a few weeks ago and sent me the following account of the yuletide expedition.

“Right about now I’d be getting a call from the bishop wanting to go tree shopping. I looked forward to it every year and always enjoyed his stories about his dad taking him to get their tree as a child. After getting it in the house, his mother would make him go outside and look through the window to make sure it was straight.

“Bishop would look all the trees over until he found the perfect one. You knew when he found it because he’d explode in energy: ‘THIS IS IT!’ He talked to everyone – a true man of the people.
“After getting the tree inside and in place my final task was to put the bowl of water under it. I’d offer to do the lights, but he always said: ‘No Jim, I leave all that to Mary Woodward.’ (Author’s note: I would have been fine if Jim had put the lights on the tree, but it was Bishop’s tradition, and I was blessed to be a part of it.)

JACKSON – Bishop William Houck’s outdoor nativity set, given to him by Virginia McCaskey, owner fo the Chicago Bears. A local craftsman made the stable that had to be assembled and taken apart each year. (Photos courtesy of Mary Woodward)

“One of our early trips had us looking for Christmas tree lots in northeast Jackson. We ended up driving past the Gray-Lewis house with the kids playing outside. They waved so he wanted to stop. “Vic and Geri had a neighbor who was in her final hours, and they asked if Bishop would give her a blessing. Out he went … they told him she didn’t speak English. ‘Fine, Fine’ he said in his booming voice.

“As he got back in the truck, in his non-clerical tree-shopping attire, the youngest Gray-Lewis child asked: ‘Are you really the bishop?’ You can imagine his laughter. Made his day.
“I asked him about the language barrier, and he said: ‘It’s not what you say, it’s that you’re there, Jim.’ Great man. I do miss him.”

I miss him too. He was an imparter of great wisdom and a wonderful mentor to so many. The memories of his traditions will live on in my heart, Jim’s heart, and especially the hearts of his family.

Whether you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day; whether you go to the family Mass at 4:30 p.m., Midnight Mass, or Mass on Christmas Day; whether you eat turkey, ham or tofu; may you all have a very Merry Christmas where you joyfully celebrate your own cherished traditions and maybe create a few new ones. Take time to remember those who have gone on to the Lord (as Bishop Houck would say) and thank God for placing them in your path.

Christus natus est!

Dreams, center of salvation history

By Bishop Joseph R. Kopacz, D.D.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, an experience of pure magic coming down from the heavens, settling on trees, lawns and Christmas scenes but not on roadways or sidewalks. This could be a reality in Jackson on Christmas day, but it’s too early to tell. However, there is no uncertainty that Jesus Christ is born once again into our lives through faith at Christmas. It is the stuff that dreams are made of – the Word made Flesh, the light coming into the world filled with grace and truth as pure gift. (John 1:14)

Dreams are at the center of salvation history in the Bible, especially in the Infancy narratives. Mary’s encounter with the Angel was more like a daytime vision or dream that progressed from confusion to certainty and peace, by God’s grace. (Luke 1:28-38) For Joseph the nighttime dream became his pathway to discern the will of God regarding Mary and the child that was not his own, but rather the One belonging to the whole world. (Matt 1:18-24)

The scriptures say that Joseph is a righteous man (Matt 1:22) in right relationship with God and others, especially with Mary. We can readily accept that he possessed a rich inner life of prayer, a discerning spirit and a purity of heart; the first beatitude, all of which God formed in him through faith in order to accomplish His will through Mary and Joseph in the plan of salvation.

Building upon last Sunday’s Gospel from St. Matthew, the dreams continued when Joseph was alerted to escape from the murderous rage of King Herod, (Matt 2:13) and then, forewarned once again to return from Egypt to Nazareth (Matt 2:20) where the Holy Family could finally settle down, allowing Jesus to grow in wisdom, knowledge and grace until the time of his public ministry.

The promptings of the Holy Spirit in the minds and hearts of all of us, asleep or awake, can be as impactful because these inspirations come from the mind and heart of Jesus Christ and the bosom of the Most Holy Trinity. But no different than Mary and Joseph, we understand that that the gifts we need at Christmas and every day of the year are purity of heart, humility, obedience to God’s will, and an abiding awareness that we are God’s children now, already having received the first installment of the promise of eternal life. (Eph 1:14)

Over the Advent season we were exhorted to prepare the way of the Lord, through prayer and repentance, to cultivate a discerning spirit to value the things that really matter, and through acts of loving service, justice and peace to make this world a better place. Like Mary and Joseph, we are called to dream with God.

Rejoice, as we joyfully celebrate the Lord’s birth, because God so loved the world that he sent his only Son to save us, (John 3:16) to draw us out of darkness into his own marvelous light. (1Peter 2:9) This is a dream come true, white Christmas or not, and with all of the heavenly hosts, let our voices resound with, “Glory to God in the Highest,” (Luke 2:14) and with Mary, let us proclaim, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” (Luke 1:46)

Merry Christmas!

PEARL – On Dec. 18, parishioners at St. Jude gathered for Christmas dinner, along with a Christmas Nativity play and choir performance. (Photo by Tereza)

Jesus’ dysfunctional ancestry

IN EXILE
By Father Ron Rolheiser, OMI

The full story of how Jesus Christ came to be born includes elements that we do not easily imagine when we sing our Christmas hymns. Jesus’ family tree and bloodline were far from perfect and this, according to the renowned biblical scholar, Raymond Brown, needs to be kept in mind whenever we are tempted to believe in Jesus, but want to reject the church because of its imperfections, scandals and bad history. Jesus may have been immaculately conceived. However, as the Gospels make clear, there is much in his origins that is as jolting as any contemporary church scandal.

For example, in giving us the origins of Jesus, the Gospels point to as many sinners, liars and schemers in his genetic and historical lineage as they do to saints, honest people, and men and women of faith.

We see, for example, in Jesus’ genealogy a number of men who didn’t exactly incarnate the love, justice and purity of Jesus. Abraham unfairly banished Ishmael and his mother, Hagar, rationalizing that God favors some people over others; Jacob, by scheming and dishonesty, stole his brother Esau’s birthright; and David, to whom Jesus explicitly connects himself, committed adultery and then had the husband of his mistress murdered to cover up an unwanted pregnancy in order to marry her.

Father Ron Rolheiser, OMI

Moreover, the women mentioned in Jesus’ background don’t fare much better. It is interesting to note, as Raymond Brown does, which women don’t get mentioned in reference to Jesus’ origins. The Gospels don’t mention Sarah, Rebekah or Rachel, all of whom were regarded as holy women. Whom do they mention?

They mention Tamar, a Canaanite woman, someone outside the Jewish faith, who seduces her father-in-law, Judah, so that she can have a child. They mention Rahab, also a Canaanite woman, and an outsider, who is in fact a prostitute. Next, they mention Ruth, a Moabite woman who is also outside the official religion of the time. Then they mention Bathsheba, a Hittite woman, an outsider who commits adultery with David and then schemes to make sure one of her own offspring inherits the throne.

All of these women found themselves in a situation of marriage or pregnancy that was either strange or scandalous, yet each was an important divine instrument in preserving the religious heritage that gave us Jesus. It is no accident that the Gospels link these women to Mary, Jesus’ mother, since she too found herself in a ritually taboo pregnancy and in a marital situation that was peculiar.

Further still, beyond these less-than-saintly characters in Jesus’ lineage, we see as well that some of the institutions that shaped the Jewish faith were also less than saintly. Institutionalized religion back then suffered from many of the same problems it has today, including the corrupt use of power.

Indeed, Israel itself (perhaps justifying the deed by referring to what Jacob had done to Esau) seized the land of Canaan from those who had a prior claim to it, claiming ownership by divine privilege.

Finally, and not insignificantly, we see too that the lineage that gave us Jesus built itself up not just on the great and the talented, but equally on the poor and insignificant. In the list of names that makes up the ancestors of Jesus, we see some that are famous but also others who can make no claim to specialness or significance. Jesus’ human blood, scripture tells us, was produced equally by the great and the small, the talented and the talentless.

What’s to be learned for all of this? Perhaps Raymond Brown captures it best. What all this tells us, he says, is that God writes straight with crooked lines, that we shouldn’t accept an overly idealized Christ, and that our own lives, even if they are marked by weakness and insignificance, are important too in continuing the story of the incarnation.

As Brown puts it: “The God who wrote the beginnings with crooked lines also writes the sequence with crooked lines, and some of those lines are our own lives and witness. A God who did not hesitate to use the scheming as well as the noble, the impure as well as the pure, men to whom the world harkened and women upon whom the world frowned – this God continues to work through the same mélange. If it is a challenge to recognize in the last part of Matthew’s genealogy that totally unknown people were part of the story of Jesus Christ, it may be a greater challenge to recognize that the unknown characters of today are an essential part of the sequence.”

Christianity isn’t just for the pure, the talented, the good, the humble and the honest. The story of Jesus Christ was also written and keeps being written by the impure, by sinners, by calculating schemers, by the proud, by the dishonest and by those without worldly talents. Nobody is so bad, so insignificant, so devoid of talent, or so outside the circle of faith, that he or she is outside the story of Christ.

(Oblate Father Ron Rolheiser is a theologian, teacher and award-winning author. He can be contacted through his website www.ronrolheiser.com.)

The greatest gift

Reflections on Life
By Melvin Arrington
Gift giving and the Christmas season go together like trees and decorations. It’s hard to think of one without the other. Adults understand this, but children usually have a different perspective.

When I was a little boy, Christmas to me was all about getting gifts rather than giving them. What was the best present you received as a child? I can still remember a few of mine. When I was in second grade my parents gave me a little robot. It was only about a foot tall, but it was simply the finest Christmas toy ever because it would come alive when I moved it forward and backward by remote control! Another year my favorite present was an illustrated copy of Dickens’ Christmas Carol, a book I still have on my shelf after all these years.

When I was around ten my favorite was a transistor radio. That little Zenith model really opened up the world to me. It wasn’t even necessary to stay home to listen to it. I could take it with me practically anywhere and listen to ball games and all the wonderful music of that era. To my young, immature way of thinking that was the greatest present ever.

But as I grew older those childhood attachments gradually became less significant as the things that really matter began to occupy more of my time and thoughts. Eventually, I came to realize that residents of Western democracies have been endowed with individual God-given liberties that oppressed and/or poverty-stricken peoples around the world do not have. How often do Americans take for granted clean air and water, abundant food, warm clothing, comfortable housing, good health and loving family members? And what a wonderful blessing to have children and grandchildren! Of course, not everyone in our country enjoys these benefits, but a lot of us do, and we should take the time to acknowledge these things and give thanks for them. And most of all we should be grateful for the gift of life itself.

But rather than focus on things received, our thoughts should concentrate on giving during this holy season. This means not only material gifts but monetary ones as well. Everybody has probably received requests for charitable contributions in which the sender lists a series of suggested donation amounts, ending with a blank space and the words “my best gift,” or something to that effect. The amount written in may be less than the minimum suggested donation or it may be greater. Either way, that phrase allows the contributor to set the amount according to his or her own resources.

This raises a question worth pondering: What’s my best offering? A friend of mine likes to say, God sent us His best: His Son and His Spirit. He loved us so much that He sent His love, His only Son, to be our Savior; and He sent the love He shares with the Son, the Holy Spirit, to be our advocate and comforter. Those are gifts that can’t be topped!

The Holy Family also left us beautiful models to follow. Mary gave her best when she said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38) What hope would the human race have if she had not agreed to become the Mother of God? In addition, Joseph set a high standard when he responded in the affirmative to God’s call by lovingly taking Mary into his home rather than denouncing her as the law prescribed.

Jesus offered Himself as well. The King of Kings left his celestial home and humbled himself by becoming the Babe in the manger. Then, at the end of His earthly life he sacrificed himself on the Cross in order to pay our sin debt. And now, so that we might have the Divine Life within us He offers His precious Body and Blood in the Eucharist.

So, if the members of the Holy Family gave their finest gifts, why shouldn’t I try to do likewise? Giving of self in service to others is not easy, but it affords tremendous bonuses because the giver receives abundant spiritual gifts in return. As St. Paul, quoting the words of Jesus, tells us: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35)

During this time of year many people, unfortunately, suffer from sadness and loneliness. If you are one of these, here’s a suggestion to bring some happiness into your life: do something to help another person. In doing so you will experience the joy that comes from cooperating with God’s plan. Here’s a quotation that helps put service to others in perspective: “Whenever you have an opportunity to do something for someone, do it, because you may be the instrument God uses to answer that person’s prayer.” The chorus to an old Protestant hymn gracefully captures the essence of these thoughts: “Others, Lord, yes others. Let this my motto be. Help me to live for others, that I may live like Thee.”
If we have God’s love in our hearts, it will be nearly impossible to keep it bottled up inside; we will feel compelled to share it with others. Christmas is about giving, and nothing has greater lasting value than the gift of God’s love. The more we love, the more we will want to give of ourselves. After all, that’s the most precious thing we can give this Christmas.

(Melvin Arrington is a Professor Emeritus of Modern Languages for the University of Mississippi and a member of St. John Oxford.)

Christmas isn’t over

LIGHT ONE CANDLE
By Father Ed Dougherty, M.M., The Christophers’ board of directors

January opens with the Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God, which serves as a joyous reminder that the Christmas season is still upon us. Celebrating Mary’s role in saying “yes” to God and the Incarnation of Christ is a wonderful way to keep the spirit of the season alive within our hearts. And what a relief it is to realize that we can and should still celebrate the Christmas season because the time we spend in preparation for that special day and the activities surrounding it can be so hectic.

Of course, our preparation and celebration of Christmas is intended to leave us with something that lasts throughout the year. It is a time to awaken our appreciation for God’s gift of His Son for the salvation of all humanity, and it is fitting that we pull out the stops on Christmas Day to allow the reality of that miracle to open our hearts to be transformed by God’s love for us.

But our Christmas celebration should continue beyond even January 1 for a much simpler reason. Our celebration should extend throughout the entirety of the Christmas season, a period that lasts until Epiphany Sunday, held this year on January 8.

Father Ed Dougherty

The most enduring way to keep Christmas alive within our hearts throughout the season is to attend Mass as often as possible. The Solemnity of Mary concludes the period of eight feast days known as an Octave that began with the Nativity of Our Lord, and this first week of January continues with great Christmas season feast days, with one of the highlights being the Feast of the Most Holy Name of Jesus on January 3.

The Christmas season culminates with Epiphany Sunday on January 8, when we honor the recognition of Christ’s Divinity by the Wise Men who travelled from afar to reverence the Baby Jesus in Bethlehem. It is the perfect capstone to this festive time when we gather with family and community to heighten our own and everyone else’s awareness of the importance of Christ’s birth and His presence in our midst today.

So, if the whirlwind of preparing for Christmas Day has left you feeling like the whole thing has come and gone without giving you the chance to appreciate it, take heart in the fact that our celebration is ongoing. When considering the extended nature of this celebration, you might realize there’s a time and place for virtually everything. We have the hustle and bustle surrounding Christmas Day, the food and fun and time we share together, and the gift giving to show our appreciation for one another.

But as we approach Epiphany Sunday, when the realization of the meaning of Christ’s birth becomes clear, perhaps we might take some time to appreciate the season in a different way. Perhaps we might slow things down, do a bit more prayer and contemplation, take time with friends and family in quieter ways, ways that enable us to truly understand each other’s hopes and dreams and even fears and struggles as we embark upon this New Year together.

When we do these things, we will find ourselves growing in appreciation for the way Christ is present in each and every one of us, and we will allow that presence to flourish within our midst. In this way, we open our hearts to all the Christmas season has to offer so that we can be transformed throughout the year by the coming of Christ into our lives.

(For a free copy of The Christophers’ LIFT UP YOUR HEARTS, write: The Christophers, 5 Hanover Square, New York, NY 10004; or e-mail: mail@christophers.org)

Feast of the Holy Family – December 30

Stewardship Paths
By Julia Williams

The church deeply venerates the Holy Family and proposes it as the model of all families. Inserted directly in the mystery of the Incarnation, the Family of Nazareth has its own special mystery. And in this mystery, one finds true parenthood.

Joseph’s commitment to fatherhood is not one that derives from begetting offspring; but neither is it an apparent, nor merely, substitute fatherhood. Rather, it is one that fully shares in authentic human fatherhood and the mission of a father in the family.

The Holy Family, Bartolome Esteban Murillo, c. 1660-1670; Public Domain.

Mary’s suffering shows the full extent of her motherhood — not just bringing life forth but offering it to God. The Blessed Mother never forgot her Infant, and, therefore, we cannot fail to recall the fidelity of the Lord to His covenant with us.

The diagnosis of ‘family’ today is bleak. Sociocultural realities discourage the young from marrying, contributing to factors like ‘fear of commitment’ and ‘high divorce rates’. This disrespect for marriage belittles parenthood.

Commitment is a key characteristic of an everyday steward. The examples and commitment to parenthood by Joseph and Mary help us to be strong when it seems that life is hard. More importantly, reflecting on their lives can help us truly see the ways God moves in our lives and the gifts He has given us to use for His glory.

The Feast of the Holy Family prompts us to recognize the importance of the family. Indeed, Jesus is born in a family!

Source: Magnificat, Nine Days with St. Joseph; 4lpi.com and catholicsteward.com.