GUEST COLUMN
By Reba J. McMellon, M.S., LPC

Matthew 22:39 – You should love your neighbor as yourself…
People can change and grow. It’s important to recognize that opposite is also true.

Our commandment is to love our neighbor as ourselves. Unless you really don’t like yourself, it is important to recognize healthy versus unhealthy characteristics in others so you can gauge who to love up close and who to love from a distance.
Love doesn’t mean inviting everyone over for potato salad.

It is biblical to recognize when to set healthy boundaries. Think of Jesus’ response to the Pharisees and Sadducees. He was polite but concise. Notice Jesus did not invite Pontius Pilot or the Pharisees to the last supper. Why? Because they would have ruined the whole thing. Some may argue, but it’s the last supper, shouldn’t Jesus invite everyone. Well, no.

The enemy would have you believe everybody is worthy of potato salad at your dinner table. But that might ruin the whole love thing.

Below are five characteristics of people who won’t change and will test your spirit if you spend too much time with them.

1. People who blame others for their own mistakes:
   They often say things like, “I apologize if” instead of “I apologize because.” They go to extreme measures to avoid personal responsibility, feigning forgetfulness, ignorance, devil made them do it, etc. These kinds of people don’t realize fault doesn’t mean your bad, it means you made a mistake. People who blame others for their own mistakes don’t change or grow because they don’t take responsibility for their own behavior.
   
2. People who always have to be right:
   People who always have to be right can’t learn because they won’t listen. These type people frequently interrupt and talk over people. Instead of changing the way they think, they change reality to fit their way of thinking.
   
3. People who react to conflict with anger and aggression:
   People who react to conflict with anger and aggression shut down dialogue. Think of bully behaviors. They blowup, turn their back, shutdown, name call, cry, yell, etc. to avoid communication. Change requires honest communication.
   
4. People who ignore the needs and feelings of others:
   Think about pushy salespeople. They ignore the customer’s genuine needs and push their own agenda. People who are good at assessing the needs of others and responding accordingly have the ability to grow and learn. People who ignore the needs and feelings of others don’t care enough to change.
   
5. People who feel superior:
   Healthy people are confident and are able to accurately assess their own competence. They enjoy learning from others. Unhealthy people won’t acknowledge their lack of knowledge enough to listen and learn. Nobody knows it all. There’s no harm in that, only harm in an unwillingness to learn. It’s hard to learn if you are the center of your own universe.
   
   When interacting with people who have some or all of these characteristics, it is wise to make a brief point, set a boundary then walk away. Jesus did it and so should we.
   
   Love your neighbor as you love yourself requires you to love yourself. So, pause to think before you get out the mayonnaise and start on that potato salad.

(Reba J. McMellon, M.S. is a licensed professional counselor with 35 years of experience. She continues to work in the field of mental health as a consultant and is available for public speaking. Reba can be reached at rebaj@bellsouth.net.)

Reflections on Life
By Melvin Arrington

Across the centuries the church has produced numerous holy women named Teresa, among them Teresa of Calcutta (Mother Teresa), Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein), the French saint Thérèse of Lisieux (the Little Flower) and the forerunner of them all, Teresa of Avila.

My wife, Terry, tells a fascinating story about how she was named. Her saintly mother, Stella, had a special devotion to the Little Flower, one that had been passed down from her mother. When she was a young girl, Stella became gravely ill and slipped into a coma. Her mother prayed to Thérèse for a miracle. Sometime later Stella regained consciousness and asked, “Where’s the lady with the flowers?” It appears she had experienced a vision of the French saint in an iconic pose.

When Terry was born, Stella intended to name her for Thérèse, but somehow the name on the birth certificate appeared as “Teresa.” So, as it turns out, her real namesake is not the French saint but the Spanish one, Teresa of Avila. Divine intervention? Who knows? But I do know that Terry majored in Spanish in college and went on to have a wonderful career as a Spanish professor.

St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582) was canonized in 1622 and given the title “Doctor of the Church” in 1970, the first woman to be so designated. She’s my favorite October saint (feast day, Oct. 15), primarily because of her lively personality, the compelling qualities of her mystical writings, and the way she achieved, in the spirit of St. Dominic, a balance between the active life and the contemplative.

In an age when women usually remained in the background, Teresa boldly thrust herself into the forefront of Spanish life. She was beautiful, talented and charming as well as shrewd, self- assertive and determined. She had amazing organizational skills and was blessed with intelligence, common sense, good humor and a quick wit, as seen in the following anecdote.

As Teresa was setting out to enter the Carmelite Order, a gentleman admirer helped her into the carriage. In order to step up, she raised her skirt slightly and, in so doing, inadvertently revealed the lower part of her leg, an exposure not overlooked by the young man. Turning to him, she said, “Go ahead and take a good look because it’s the last time you’re going to see it.”

Unfortunately, Teresa was constantly plagued with serious illnesses, including consumption and malaria. At age 24 she became cataleptic and for three days showed no signs of life. The nuns sealed her eyelids with wax, wrapped her body in a shroud, and prepared a grave for her. But when they came to take her for burial, she awoke. Full recovery from this affliction took many months. Late in life, Teresa looked back on all these episodes of sickness and pain and concluded that suffering was sent from God to draw her closer to Him. In spite of these ailments she maintained her trademark sense of humor, as seen in the comment, “Well, Lord, if this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few of them.”

St. Teresa endured eighteen years of spiritual dryness in the convent until undergoing, around age 41 or 42, a “second conversion.” Afterwards, she no longer looked forward to the frivolity and social visits that had so occupied her youth. The new Teresa would now devote herself to mental prayer and recollection, which involves becoming detached from the cares of the world, turning inward, and focusing on the presence of God. Plunging into the deepest level of prayer, she often received mercedes (favors) from God in the form of visions, locutions and raptures. Of course, some became suspicious of these as works of the devil, but Teresa remained undeterred.

Because of a desire to live under a stricter rule, one that would allow more time for contemplation, Teresa undertook her signature project: the reform of the Carmelite Order. Observing a laxity and absence of discipline in the convent, she singlehandedly toiled with the aim of restoring the Order to its primitive rule. The reform was known as the Discalced Carmelites, although the sisters rarely went without shoes (they typically wore crude sandals).

Teresa began by establishing St. Joseph’s in the city of Avila and then traveled all across Spain founding a total of sixteen convents, often in the company of St. John of the Cross, who helped spread the reform to the friars as well. Despite the opposition of some of the sisters and several high-ranking clergy, she remained dedicated to this project and eventually prevailed.

Today, Teresa is best remembered for two mystical writings, Interior Castle and the Way of Perfection, and a spiritual autobiography, in which she writes candidly of poor health, struggles in prayer, devotion to the inner life and experiences of mystical union. The writing style is natural and spontaneous but often rambling, punctuated with digressions, and difficult to understand. Nevertheless, those who make the effort to read these works will be richly rewarded.

And so, we can look to Teresa today as an exemplary saint on several levels. She’s clearly a model for those devoted to renewal and a deeper prayer life, but also someone that those who suffer from illness and pain can pray to and lean on. Women of all ages can be inspired by the life and writings of this Spanish nun. And for all who believe joy to be an integral part of the faith, we join her in saying, “Good Lord, deliver us from sour-faced saints.”

(Melvin Arrington is a Professor Emeritus of Modern Languages for the University of Mississippi and a member of St. John Oxford.)

THINGS OLD AND NEW
By Ruth Powers
Beginning in 1972, the Catholic Bishops of the United States have designated October as Respect Life Month. Catholic congregations around the country are asked to spend time during this month particularly focusing on awareness of pro-life issues. In their Pastoral Plan for Pro-Life Activities, the bishops “proclaim that human life is a precious gift from God; that each person who receives this gift has responsibilities toward God, self, and others; and that society, through its laws and social institutions, must protect and nurture human life at every stage of its existence.”

Although the bishops state that pro-life means protecting and nurturing human life at every stage of existence, it is true that for a number of years the focus of the movement has been the protection of the life of the unborn. This has led to the accusation from some who support legalized abortion that people in the pro-life movement are only concerned with the child up to the point of birth but do nothing to support and nurture the child afterwards. This is generally an unfair accusation, but there is enough truth in it that it is time to go back and look at what our church and its leaders define as what it means to be pro-life.

Abortion does play a central role in issues involving the dignity of human life, as it is the direct killing of an innocent human being and is always gravely immoral. (St. John Paul II, The Gospel of Life, no. 57) However, there are a wide spectrum of issues that touch on the protection of human life and the promotion of human dignity.

Again, St. John Paul II reminds us: “Where life is involved, the service of charity must be profoundly consistent. It cannot tolerate bias and discrimination, for human life is sacred and inviolable at every stage and in every situation; it is an indivisible good.” (The Gospel of Life, no. 87) As Catholic Christians we are called to hold a “consistent ethic of life,” which calls for the protection of human life at all ages and in all conditions.

This idea, now embraced by most American bishops in some form, had its beginnings in the early 1970s when bishops and theologians were arguing for a consistent approach on life issues, including abortion, capital punishment and war. One term used for this approach was the “seamless garment,” which referred to the tunic of Jesus which his executioners left whole in John 19:23. This philosophy, further popularized by Cardinal Joseph Bernardin of Chicago in 1983, holds that issues such as abortion, euthanasia, capital punishment, war, and social and economic injustice demand a consistent application of moral principles which put the sanctity of human life at their core. This approach is not meant in any way to downplay the importance of abortion and euthanasia, both of which involve the direct taking of innocent human life. Instead, it is meant to help us understand that because human beings are created in the image and likeness of God, they are deserving not only of having basic physical needs of food, shelter, clothing, clean water, and medical care addressed, but also of having their dignity as human beings respected by rejection of all forms of economic and social injustice.

More recently a subset of activists within the pro-life movement has begun to advocate for a broadened focus. This movement has become known as the Whole Life Movement, or sometimes Pro-Life/Whole Life. Abortion and euthanasia remain the primary focus, but members of this movement insist that it is not enough to simply support laws that restrict abortion. To be consistently pro-life is to advocate for protection of life and human dignity for all persons “from conception to natural death” as Pope Paul VI said in Humanae Vitae. Although followers of this movement continue to work for an end to abortion, they also believe that working to pass laws favoring access to nutrition, shelter, health care and education, as well as protecting the rights of the disabled is integral to being pro-life. Some in this movement even believe that the protection of the environment should be considered a pro-life issue since without a healthy environment, the lives of all of us may be threatened.

Taking some time during this Respect for Life month to reflect on what it means to be pro-life is a worthwhile endeavor for all of us. Does our concept of being pro-life begin with conception and end with the birth of the child? Or do we understand that this is only the beginning of what it means to be for life? Are we willing to fight the “throwaway culture” described by Pope Francis that sees those people who are not “contributing to society” or who are “an economic drain” as unworthy of our concern? Are we willing to build a society that protects a “right to life” that includes protection of the physical well being and the right to human dignity of all persons? It is a good time to examine our consciences about these issues.

Kneading Faith
By Fran Lavelle

If you have followed the pontificate of Pope Francis, you know that he is deeply rooted in his Jesuit formation. Foundational to a Jesuit’s formation is understanding the role of discernment in the life of the church and of all of God’s people. In the past few years, he has written three timely documents that invite the faithful to reflect on the role of the church in the world today. Christus Vivit is an Apostolic Exhortation “to young people and to the people of God” written in summation of the Synod on Young People. Fratelli Tutti, an encyclical letter, is written on fraternity and social friendship. And Let Us Dream, an inspired blueprint for a better future for all especially considering the devastating impact of the pandemic on the poor.

In all three documents he builds on the foundation of his deep appreciation for discernment, accompaniment and authentic listening. His current call for a Synod on Synodality: Communion, Participation and Mission finds kinship in the Jesuit practice of See, Act, Judge. This process is a method of intentionally seeing an issue and stopping to reflect on it before acting. It is a different way of articulating Thomas Aquinas’ description of prudence.

So, what’s a Synod you ask? Vatican II established a Synod of Bishops, described in the 1983 Code of Canon Law as a group of bishops selected from different regions of the world who are called to address a particular issue. For example, a synod may be called to consider questions pertaining to the activity of the church in the world. Since the mid-1960s when the Synod of Bishops was established, there have been invoked some thirty synods. Many have gone unnoticed. Pope Francis has, however, given new life to the Synod of Bishops by considering questions pertaining to the young church, families, the Amazon and other timely issues.

Pope Francis will begin the Synod the weekend of Oct. 9-10 with an opening session and a Mass. Bishop Kopacz will open the Synod in the diocese of Jackson with a Mass on Sunday, Oct. 24. Phase one of the synod on synodality is the diocesan phase that begins this month and will conclude in April 2022. In the diocesan phase we will collect input from local parishes, lay movements, religious institutions, schools, universities, ecumenical communities and other groups. The bishop then must synthesize that data into a 10-page report by April 2022 for submission to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. The diocese will publish the document that is sent to the USCCB in early May to help form and inform parish leaders as they plan for the future. The USCCBs summary of the country’s work will be sent to the Vatican. Those summaries will be used to help create a working document that will be the start of discussions during continental synod meetings that will run from September 2022-March 2023.

Central to understanding what the Synod is, is recognizing what it is not. It is not a pastoral planning process, nor is it a free for all gripe session. It is an opportunity for the people of God to pray together and ask of ourselves as individuals and within our church community where we are being called in our journey together. It provides a moment in time for the universal church to look at the greatest issues facing God’s holy people and asking how are we to respond as we embody the Gospel.

The USCCBs handbook in preparation for the synod describes the synodal journey as an experience of “authentic listening and discernment on the path of becoming the church that God calls us to be.” It goes on to state that, “The Synodal Process is first and foremost a spiritual process. It is not a mechanical data-gathering exercise or a series of meetings and debates. Synodal listening is oriented towards discernment.” It is our role as diocesan leaders to call forth through prayer and discernment where the Holy Spirit is leading us.

The Pope’s desire to graciously hear from all demographics, all ages, all people is indicative of his belief that the workings of the church is not a clandestine process that happens behind closed doors. Pope Francis is asking for church leaders to open wide their arms, ears and the hearts to hear the prophetic voice of God’s people. Cardinal Mario Grech said it so well, “The Second Vatican Council teaches that the People of God participate in the prophetic office of Christ. Therefore, we must listen to the People of God, and this means going out to the local churches.”
Begin praying now for wisdom and understanding. Begin praying now for a renewed fervor for the hearts and minds of people everywhere to be led back to the heart and mission of Christ. When your parish gathers to listen to one another, may you be fortified with the knowledge that your voice matters.

(Fran Lavelle is the Director of Faith Formation for the Diocese of Jackson.)

THEOLOGY AT THE MOVIES
By James Tomek, Ph.D

Two recent “lifeboat” movies on the TCM channel (Turner Classic Movie) brought me back to my SpringHill College ethics classes under Father Fred Gunti, the moral theologian of the department. Which film would he choose to analyze? The more famous one – the 1944 Lifeboat, an Alfred Hitchcock film, dramatized the experiences of nine people as they faced the new possibilities of living with very limited supply of basic needs, and with a moral question of what to do upon the chance arrival of the Nazi Captain of the submarine that torpedoed their Merchant Marine ship. The other survival film, and Father Gunti’s choice, is Richard Sale’s 1956 Abandon Ship about what to do with an overcrowded lifeboat.

Hitchcock’s Lifeboat is an excellent study of how people reveal themselves when put in an extraordinary “lifeboat” position. While they do resort to mob violence against the Nazi captain, their actions can be justified. The other film is morally complex. After an ocean liner hits a mine, there are 27 survivors converging on a lifeboat equipped for 9 to 13 people. Half the survivors have to stay in the water. Do we sacrifice some people for the benefit of others? I will focus on this film and expand the notion of “lifeboat ethics,” an issue studied in Father Fred Gunti’s class on social ethics.

Abandon Ship takes on the heavier moral issue of what to do in an overcrowded world. The executive officer of the sunken ship, Alec Holmes (Tyrone Power), is in charge of the boat and, at first, alternates those in the water with those in the boat, trying to save everyone. As conditions worsen, the ocean liner’s wounded engineer, Frank McKinley (Lloyd Nolan), advises Holmes that he needs to “evict” at least half the passengers, if the rest hope to make it to safety. Holmes resists for a while and then finally decides to save as many people as he can by “jettisoning” the weakest, since the strong are needed to row. The other ship’s officer on board Bill McKinley (Stephen Boyd), refuses to obey Holmes’ orders. As he goes overboard with a sick woman, he tells Holmes, “You have the wrong boy.”

Holmes becomes more and more ruthless as he chooses which expendable members are to be put over the side. He is ready to sacrifice himself when he becomes wounded, but a rescue ship arrives with the film’s epilogue, telling us that Holmes was convicted of murder, but was sentenced to only six months, due to the extenuating circumstances. The film was based on a true story of 1841 where seventeen members of a crowded lifeboat were sacrificed when their ship hit an iceberg.

Father Gunti might ask: What are the rights of those in the boat? Those in the water?

What is the moral thing to do? Can we enunciate some principles? Some relevant questions?

Do the ones in the boat have first rights? Do we save the weak first? Do we want optimum chances for the most people?

Or he may open the lifeboat to the world metaphor. The ocean liner is the world. The lifeboats are the rich nations. The people in the water are from the poor nations – boats that have sunk. What moralists call the Tragedy of the Commons – the air and water are like a “well” from which the whole world can share. If left uncontrolled, it will run out. Technology speeds up use. Immigration creates the commons – a cheap labor supply that will eventually cause supplies to dry up.

Carrying capacity is an issue. The land on the Earth is like a pasture. Each pasture has an ideal carrying capacity. Disaster occurs when carrying capacity is ignored. Further complications arise from the changes in climate and the vast unevenness of rainfall and the increase in powerful storms that destroy areas, especially where the poorer of our populations live.

Father Gunti would probably use the concept of proportionality to help guide our responses. We analyze the situation, delineating and then weighing the possible goods and evils of an action. The decision – do we use the greater proportion of what is the best good? or the least evil? If it is just a lifeboat, I think we have to keep as many people alive for as long as possible. The “religious” individual response, I hope, would be to volunteer to die. The “ethic” response would be to weigh the pluses and minuses of whom should be accepted and turned away. Wow! As a metaphor of the overcrowded world, we need bio-ethical studies to help us use the Earth in a conservative manner. This would take a central world authority on the line of the United Nations or a World Bank.

Father Tom Lalor, a SpringHill graduate of their theology Master of Arts program, suggested to me to follow in his path, which I gratefully did. His favorite teacher was Father Fred Gunti whom he called an excellent moral theologian who could break down issues and rebuild them with positive answers.

We are in an overcrowded world of immigration issues with real people suffering. The climate problems that we are having have also affected the rise in immigration. If the solution is that we jettison all the poor, I hope that I can say, like the Stephen Boyd character in Abandon Ship, “you have the wrong boy.” We need to find better solutions. This is where we need Father Gunti.

(James Tomek is a retired language and literature professor at Delta State University who is currently a Lay Ecclesial Minister at Sacred Heart in Rosedale and also active in RCIA at Our Lady of Victories in Cleveland.)

Our 2nd Annual Homegrown Harvest Festival was certainly festive. I am so grateful for the support from across the diocese that the Department of Vocations received. We had over 30 sponsors of the event as well as many other individuals and businesses who gave in different ways to make sure that we were able to reach our fundraising goal. My deadline for this article was just 48 hours after the event and we are still tabulating our final numbers, but it looks like over $80,000 was raised to support our seminarians and our promotional events for this year.

 I was confident that this event would be a great time, and it was. It was a great time because it brought together so many stakeholders who all care about the same thing: the future of the church. This is why I wanted to have this event in the first place. There are so many ways that the People of God in Jackson generously support the church, but I do think that vocations can help to invigorate the faithful in a special way. Saturday was a testament to that.

I would like to thank in this space several people who made the event a success. Bishop Kopacz has been a great support to my department and has helped me a great deal simply by encouraging me to think outside the box. He is a big reason we had a successful event. The details were handled by our outstanding Diocesan Stewardship and Development Department led by Rebecca Harris and Julia Williams. Rhonda Bowden of St. Jude Pearl was the coordinator of our silent auction and did a fantastic job. The people of St. Paul Catholic Church in Flowood and their Pastor Father Gerry Hurley were so gracious to allow us to host the event at their parish. Our seminarians came up from south Louisiana to help in several different ways, and I think those in attendance really enjoyed getting to speak with them and getting to know them better.

All in all, our first in person vocations fundraiser in some time checked all the boxes I hoped it would. Most importantly, I think it was a visual reminder to all of us that God is working in the lives of young men and women in our diocese and there are many, many people who are praying that the Lord will send more laborers into the field of our parishes, schools and missions. Thank you for your support and prayers, and please continue to pray that the Lord will bring forth a fruitful, homegrown harvest of young priests to serve us in the generations to come.